Why do I still feel fear or guilt after I stopped believing?

Why can feelings outlast beliefs?

The Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy notes that emotions often resist reason: many people do not believe flying is dangerous, yet they keep fearing it.

Research on fear suggests how this can happen. In the classic lab model of fear learning, a neutral picture is followed by an electric shock, and after several pairings the picture alone brings fear. If the picture keeps appearing with no shock, the fear fades. This fading is called extinction. But lab research reviewed by Mark Bouton in 2004 shows that extinction does not destroy the original learning. It adds new learning, and that new learning is closely tied to its setting.

That is why fear can come back. A review by Michelle Craske and colleagues describes how fear can creep back as time passes, or return when the old trigger shows up in a setting different from the one where the fear faded. Another review put it plainly: learning that something is safe is fairly easy; remembering it is harder (Vervliet, Craske and Hermans, 2013).

We found no study that tests this link directly in former believers, so treat it as a reasonable inference, not a finding. But it fits what some former members describe: fears that continued after they left.

What do studies of people who leave a faith find?

Daryl Van Tongeren and colleagues studied formerly religious people using national samples from the United States, the Netherlands, Hong Kong and New Zealand. Across three studies, formerly religious people differed from people who had never been religious, and somewhat resembled religious people, in attitudes toward God, religious practice, giving and, in New Zealand, volunteering. The authors call this a religious residue. In two studies, formerly and currently religious people also held more negative attitudes toward God than people who had never been religious. The authors note that identities tend to change slowly, which can leave people between two groups: no longer religious, but not like those who never were. Fear and guilt were not measured.

Maria Björkmark and colleagues talked with 18 people in Finland who had left religious groups they experienced as highly demanding. Living with fear and guilt was one of five main themes. People described fear of having sinned, of punishment and of hell, and guilt that was hard to shake after years of feeling unworthy. Yet a life of freedom and joy was also a main theme, and leaving was described as one of the biggest and most satisfying decisions in life. The study is small, and the researchers sought out people who had struggled after leaving, mostly through a Finnish support organization, so it shows what the experience can be like, not how common it is.

Leaving can also cost community. Using U.S. survey data from 1973 to 2012, Andrew Fenelon and Sabrina Danielsen found that people raised in a religion who later claimed none reported poorer health and lower well-being than people who stayed, and than people raised without religion. Overall, the gap disappeared once they accounted for how often people attended services, which the authors read as a loss of social support. For former evangelicals, a smaller well-being gap remained; the authors suggest leaving may reduce spiritual ways of coping and stir worry about sin, divine punishment or guilt. The data are a snapshot, so they cannot show cause.

What is the strongest objection?

Some clinicians and researchers argue that, for some people, lasting fear is more than old learning: it is a sign of real harm, which they call religious trauma. A survey of 1,581 U.S. adults, published in 2023 by Darren Slade and colleagues, estimated that about a third of U.S. adults (27 to 33%) have experienced religious trauma. But the estimate rests mainly on self-reports: 27.7% said yes when asked whether they believed they had experienced religious trauma as the study defined it. The study was funded and run by the Global Center for Religious Research and appeared in the center’s own journal. The paper itself says the term has been ambiguously defined in much of the research literature, and it mentions writers who dispute how common religious trauma is. So the numbers remain an open question. What is not in doubt: some people carry real pain after leaving.

A different caution matters for people of faith: not every religious worry is a disorder. The International OCD Foundation’s page for faith leaders notes that a spiritual struggle does not in itself mean someone needs mental health treatment. And whether lingering guilt carries a religious meaning, such as conscience or a call to return, is a question of faith that science cannot settle.

This page’s own explanation has a weak spot too: the fear research comes mostly from labs and does not test guilt, and the residue studies measured neither fear nor guilt. That is why the page carries the label Supported, still debated.

What helps, and when is it time to get help?

Give it time, and expect ups and downs. In fear research, safe new experiences add a new lesson, and old fear can still flare up now and then. People in the Finnish study described moving back and forth between freedom and fear at first; once people regain their footing, the researchers write, life takes a new, positive direction. A flare-up is not failure.

Find your people. Research cited by Fenelon and Danielsen suggests the social benefits of attending come mostly from friendships around services and from activities such as volunteering. In the Finnish study, finding new relationships seemed to play a vital role in building a new life. Recovering from Religion, a nonprofit for people dealing with doubt or non-belief, offers a peer support line (844-368-2848), chat, and more than 50 peer support groups, many of them online.

Consider counseling. If fear or guilt takes up much of your time, causes great distress, or gets in the way of daily life and relationships, talk with a licensed therapist. Recovering from Religion’s Secular Therapy Project connects people with licensed therapists who offer evidence-based, non-religious care. Many in the Finnish study had benefited from psychotherapy.

Know the signs of scrupulosity. Scrupulosity is a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) focused on sin and morality: excessive worry about sin, blasphemy or hell, with repeated acts meant to relieve it, such as excessive praying, confessing or seeking reassurance. The International OCD Foundation notes that atheists and agnostics can have it too, since no one can be completely sure of any belief, including disbelief. It also notes that Martin Luther and Ignatius of Loyola struggled with it. A 2010 review found little evidence that religion itself raises the risk of OCD. The main psychological treatment is a form of cognitive behavioral therapy called exposure and response prevention.

If you are staying or returning. A clergy member who welcomes questions can be a good ally. Many people with OCD turn to a spiritual leader first, the foundation notes, and leaders can help steer them toward appropriate treatment. Scrupulosity therapy may also include advice from leaders of the person’s own tradition.

If it gets heavy. Some people in the Finnish study described times when death felt easier than living with their pain. If you ever feel that way, please reach out now: in the U.S., call or text 988. Our care page lists more help, and our answers on questioning what you were raised to believe and on telling family about your doubts may help too.

Where can people of faith and skeptics agree?

• A life ruled by dread helps no one. Faith traditions speak to this in their own terms. The First Letter of John says that “perfect love drives out fear,” linking fear with punishment (1 John 4:18). In the Quran, God tells His servants who have gone too far against their own souls not to lose hope in His mercy (Quran 39:53), a verse the commentator Ibn Kathir reads as a call to all sinners to repent and turn to God. Whether God exists and forgives is beyond science.
• Feelings deserve care, not shame. OCD specialists write that OCD is not a moral compass anyone ought to follow, and treatment can help whether a person believes or not.
• Support should fit the person. Nobody should be pushed toward one path.

How can you check this yourself?

• Ask who was studied. A national survey describes a population; interviews with 18 people describe what an experience can be like.
• Look for the definition. When you see a number for religious trauma, check how the term was defined and who decided whether people fit it.
• Read the scrupulosity fact sheet. The International OCD Foundation’s two-page fact sheet lists common signs and treatments.

The answer stays the same. Fear and guilt can outlast belief, most likely because feelings learned over years change more slowly than minds do. They can ease with time, company and care, and you do not have to face them alone.